Welcome to my journey into motherhood! As a mom of a beautiful four-month-old baby girl, Sage, I want to share the real, unfiltered truths I’ve learned since becoming a parent. Whether you’re pregnant, a new mom, or just curious, here are 15 things I wish someone had told me before I had my baby — especially relevant for South African moms navigating this life-changing adventure.

1. Baby Clothes: Why Newborn Sizes Matter (Even If You Think They Don’t)

I kept hearing, “Don’t bother buying newborn clothes — babies outgrow them too fast.” So, I planned to buy only zero-to-three-month sizes for my baby, thinking she’d be a big newborn like the rest of my family. But guess what? Sage wore some newborn clothes for nearly two months!

Key takeaway:

• Don’t skip newborn sizes completely. Grab a few essentials just in case.
• Opt for zippers and footies — onesies with built-in feet and zippers make late-night changes so much easier than fiddling with snaps or socks. Socks get lost all the time (especially in our warm South African homes), so footed pajamas are a lifesaver.

2. Tracking Baby’s Naps: Why It’s a Game-Changer

Tracking naps wasn’t something I considered early on. But around 3-4 weeks, Sage began showing patterns, and monitoring her sleep helped us avoid that overtired fussiness every parent dreads.

Tips for new moms:

• Understand the concept of wake windows — the time your baby can comfortably stay awake before needing sleep.
• Try to put your baby down for naps before they become overtired and cranky.
• Be flexible: not every day is the same, but having an idea of sleep rhythms helps.

3. The Magic of Breast Milk Beyond Feeding

For breastfeeding moms, breast milk is magical — I’ve used it to soothe everything from baby acne to minor scratches and even goopy eyes. It’s nature’s remedy for many newborn skin issues, and it’s totally worth celebrating.

4. Babies Cry — And That’s Completely Normal

When Sage was first born, I worried every time she cried. Social media made it seem like every other baby was calm and peaceful all the time, which made me feel like I was failing.

But here’s the truth: babies cry because it’s their way of communicating. Sometimes they’re hungry, tired, or uncomfortable. Other times? They just want to be held or are fussing with no obvious reason.

Remember:

• Crying doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.
• Holding your baby often helps build bonds and comfort them — cherish those moments.

5. Days Feel Short, Nights Feel Long — You’re Not Alone

Especially in those early months, days can seem to fly by, while nights drag on endlessly. For a morning person like me, waking tired and squeezing naps around baby care made the daytime feel short and hectic.

How to cope:

• Accept that your routine will change daily.
• Prioritize rest whenever possible — even short naps can help.

6. Bonding Takes Time — For Dads and Moms Alike

Not every parent feels an instant deep connection with their baby — and that’s okay. My partner initially felt unsure about bonding, which was hard for me, but now they’re inseparable.

Important:

• Bonding grows gradually; it’s a journey you take together.
• Open communication helps avoid misunderstandings.

7. Everything Is a Phase — Both Good and Challenging

Whether it’s sleepless nights or baby milestones, everything changes. One week might be smooth sailing, the next chaotic — and that’s perfectly normal.

Tip: Don’t get stuck wishing things were a certain way; embrace the ebb and flow.

8. Postpartum Smell Changes — Yes, It’s a Thing!

Many moms, myself included, notice a stronger body odor postpartum. It’s a hormonal shift that not everyone talks about but is very common.

How to manage:

• Shower more often if you can.
• Use deodorant regularly.
• Remember, it’s temporary and totally normal.

9. Eating Changes During Pregnancy and Beyond

Pregnancy eating isn’t always enjoyable. I struggled with feeling full quickly and avoiding bloating foods. Postpartum, especially while breastfeeding, my appetite skyrocketed.

Advice:

• Eat what feels good and nourishing — it’s okay to indulge sometimes!
• Breastfeeding requires more calories than pregnancy itself.
• Small, frequent meals can be easier on digestion.

10. Healing Takes Time — Even Your Stomach

After birth, your body is healing in ways you might not expect. For example, the placenta leaves an open wound inside your uterus that takes weeks to heal. Your abdominal muscles and ribs also feel sore and stretched out.

What helped me:

• Rest as much as possible in the early weeks.
• Gentle abdominal massages with oil eased soreness.
• Be patient with your body — healing isn’t instant.

11. The Fourth Trimester Brings New Symptoms

Even after birth, your body continues adjusting. I experienced itchy skin on my neck and chest — a weird symptom related to hormonal and immune system shifts.

Heads up:

• Expect new and unexpected symptoms postpartum.
• If symptoms worry you, consult your healthcare provider.

12. Identity Crisis Is Real

Becoming a parent is a profound life shift. You may mourn your old life or sense of self as your focus changes dramatically.

How to cope:

• Remember you can love your baby and still be yourself.
• Maintain hobbies and passions that bring you joy outside parenthood.
• Give yourself grace — this transition is huge.

13. Parenthood Is a Full-Time Job, Not a Side Hustle

Caring for a baby is intense and time-consuming. Expect your productivity in other areas to drop significantly.

Reality check:

• Your main job is being a parent.
• Everything else is a “side hustle.”
• Planning and adjusting your expectations will reduce stress.

14. Pelvic Floor Changes Affect Daily Life

After birth, your pelvic floor muscles are weakened and need rehab. I noticed changes in urination — it felt different, sometimes harder to empty fully, and I had occasional leaks early on.

Recommendation:

• See a pelvic floor physiotherapist.
• Do prescribed exercises consistently.
• Be patient — recovery takes time.

15. The Importance of Self-Care and Support

Through it all, prioritizing self-care and leaning on support networks is vital. Motherhood is joyful but challenging, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Final Thoughts for South African Moms

Motherhood is a rollercoaster of emotions, surprises, and milestones. Whether you’re expecting or a new mom in South Africa, I hope these honest reflections help you feel less alone and more prepared.

Got your own surprises or tips? Please share in the comments — let’s build a supportive community! Don’t forget to subscribe for more real talk about parenting and postpartum life.

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